Adventures of a masseuse living in Lagos…

Adventure has different meanings to different inviduals, to some people adventure is fun all the way, to some it’s a mixture of fun, excitement, worries, heartaches and some shitty things life showers you with. But to Celeste adventure is encountering risk or bold undertaken and in turn enjoying the experiences that follows. In her final year in University of Ilorin all Celeste could think of is doing something for herself in a city like Lagos, where no one cares about the next person other than themselves. Everyone finds some kind of means to survive. The economy of the country was bad since the prices of crude oil was falling and so she thought of leaving Ilorin to come back to Lagos to fight for her stomach. So she decided to move to Lara’s place her oldest cousin and a single mum living in Ogba not far from ikeja., she decided to stay there because going home wasn’t an option, since her mother believed that she should only consider getting a job when she receives her university degree. And geography wasn’t a course of study that intrigues her much. Lagos was an entirely different place from Ilorin but she thought she knew Lagos well enough since she spent her early years in the ikorodu, the outskirts of Lagos. But the truth is she has no idea what was in front of her, she never went out alone all through her time in Lagos without the help of a personal driver
So the idea of jumping and shuttling buses was
something she wasn’t used to, but that was her new life now.
Being 23 was a big step for Celeste the thinking that she’s an adult now and she needed to gain her independence. She decided to check online for spa jobs and she found one, such a big deal for her, she said to herself ” finally I can make my own money ” but she was yet to go for the interview. It was a mobile massage service, she called the number linked to the advert on “jiji.com” the website for job seekers and then a man answered the call and called himself ” kalakuta” and then told her to come to Ikeja for the job interview. She was excited but at the same time overwhelmed, she started to panic later at night when she thought about the Employers name “kalakuta” who bears that ; she said to herself, “I hope he’s not a scam”. Before going for the interview she made up her mind not to pay any kind of fee if she was asked to. The next morning by 10 am she went for the interview, on getting there she saw other applicants at the reception then her confidence melted like ice thrown in hot water. It came to her turn and on meeting the employer ” kalakuta ” she was bewildered. She imagined a huge, tough looking, scary guy. But then her imagination chose to fail her. He was an average height handsome, good looking man. And then the confidence that traveled decided to take a Stoll back to her, so now she could talk boldly without fear and stammering. He introduced himself and then asked if she had any experiences and she said ” well I’ve been doing this for about three years now” which was a lie she had only been a mobile masseuse for a year. But then when Rita her favorite cousin who claims to know exactly how things work in Lagos , was prepping her for the interview. She told her that you need to act like you own the job, take control say you’ve been doing this since you were a baby. But well she knows that saying she has been a masseuse since she was a baby wasn’t going to earn her any job. She decided to say something a little less dramatic. Well after the interview kalakuta asked for a massage to know how good Celeste was, so she started an hour session she wanted to give him a relaxing massage but he said it made him sleep off and that if she noticed he had a “erection” and then he told her to aviod the nipples area when she’s giving a massage and that Nigerians believe that massage is some form of punishment, so whenever she massaging a client she should punish them. Celeste was a bit flustered because she felt the point of giving a relaxing massage is to relax the nerves, but then she insisted she would give a deep tissue to most of her clients that don’t have any preference. But then she just told kalakuta “okay I will do just that, I’ll make sure I punish them”. And then he said ” yes, exactly do just that! That would work.” Afterwards he talked about the payment method and she said per session is fine, so they both agreed on 5000 naira if she pays for her transport and 4000 naira if he drops her off at the client’s. Celeste was quite happy with the deal so she went back to her cousin’s and shared to awesome story.
Since she was to resume work the next day, her boss (kalakuta) called her for a job in Springfield hotel at the airport. Kalakuta sent her the address and the name of the client, being her first job with kalakuta mobile massage company she was quite nervous because she didn’t want to ruin it. So she took a bike to the hotel because she was running out of time for the appointment, the appointment was for 3:30pm and it was about 3 pm already. On getting there she asked at the reception for Mr Ashyira at room 419. And then she was asked to use the elevator to the 4th floor, she was glad that she got there at exactly 3:30pm and she gave a soft knock on the door with a sticker saying ” Room 419″ and for a second it seemed weird to her that a room number will be “419” because in Nigeria “419” was a term used for fraudsters and scammers. Within a split of a second the door was opened by a short , stunted looking Indian man. He introduced himself as Ashyira and she did the same by saying “I’m Celeste and I’ll be your masseuse for today” and then Celeste started the one hour massage session. What got her astonished was the fact that Ashyira went stack naked in front of her and immediately she looked in another direction, she was a bit shy ; she just wasn’t ready for that. And then when she did that he asked ” are you shy” and she replied ” no sir”. And then she started the one hour session, Ashyira preffered to watch football while having a massage rather that listening to classical music. He has a nice hair ; Celeste thought to herself. And then Celeste kept asking if the pressure was enough or not, rather than punishing “since he’s not Nigerian ” she thought to herself.. And besides Ashyira wanted a soft and tender touch. He kept compliment her that her hands were soft and then he told her she could sit if she wanted to, she said “thank you sir”. After the full body massage he started complimenting her waist saying ” you have a lovely waist please can I see it” and then she replied” no sir, you can’t” he then started begging, saying if you offer me a little something I’ll give you something valuable in return”. And she was like what!! So he said I want a blowjob she said I’m really sorry I don’t offer such services and he asked for a hand job, went to his safe and brought out 25,000 naira. Celeste was baffled at how badly he wanted a hand job replied saying “no sir I don’t offer such services “. And then he said ” I’ll make it 30,000 naira ” posed his naked body in her face and started begging for a hand job but she refused saying “I’m a married woman” she lied to him. And then he said “who cares no one will know about this”. But she refused again he was furious gave her the 13,000 naira for the full body message and the she walked away. But she was so irked and filled with fret, all Celeste could think of was is this what she was going to go through all the time since for her first job she had to massage a pervet. But then she also thought about the money, how it would have been quite useful. But she knew she wouldn’t be happy after the money is all gone, and the urge to want to do it again will arise. She consoled herself with those thoughts. Afterwards she went to her bosses office and gave him his share of the money Kalakuta was excited as always whenever he’s given money and then back to her cousin’s. When she got home and narrated the whole event to Rita, all Rita could see was the money celeste waved goodbye to. And she said to celeste ” how stupid are you to let go of that much MONEY” But she said to Rita” why would I, that’s fucked up”

As Celeste laid on bed thoughts danced through her mind, and  her inner voice cried out ” what really does life have to offer, that I need to sacrifice the only thing that is left in my possession my (self pride) and strip myself of all the things that make me who I am for something that has no life, no breath, no wits.

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Beautiful words are enjoyed by graceful people.

Hey guys, I’ve not written in a while because I’ve been working on something different. So I came up a story where I can use my puns as well. It’s about the experiences of a young masseuse living in Lagos. It’s about the good, the irking and the ridiculous things she met along a path. And what makes it exclusive is it’s more of nonfiction than fiction. It has a lot of real experiences in it.

Well I do hope you enjoy reading it. The chapters are going to be in three batches ” Chapter 1a” , “Chapter 1b” , ” Chapter 1c” e.t.c.  sit back and enjoy some playful words…

Love Sunflowerapril..

#literature

#words

#poetry

#puns

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#writing